we don't want...

As Mr and I were driving home we had a discussion about gummy worms. After the second one he handed me that was clear from where he licked it, I told him I was full and I didn't want any more. He then asks, do they make you fat?
me- no
him-then why don't you want anymore?
me-cuz you licked them and I really don't want anymore
him- cuz they make you fat?
me- sure mister
him-and we don't want a fat mommy do we?
me-no
him-and we don't want a fat mr do we
me-no
him-and we don't want a fat bubba do we?
me-no
him-and a fat daddy, and a fat tatie
me- no, mister, can we talk about something else?


I didn't have the patience to tell him gummys are fat free, he couldn't understand why I didn't want something he had licked. Like a cat bringing you a dead mouse, what do you mean you don't want it, don't you love me??

Wonderful article

I found this and thought all you moms out there would like to take a look. I am still trying to get links down so bear with me....

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/family/08/28/par.mom.surprises/index.html

It was a good time to find this, it was a looonnngggg day at the ole homestead.

Promised pictures

To borrow Cheyenne's phrase, Wonder twins, unite!!











Mr. Shiner




Why is she always glaring at me? Oh that is right, it is in the teen law book..

The infamous bra purse. Such a riot!

So, let me tell you about my Saturday

First I started my day by waking a overly tired, pmsing teen to tell her she had to do something she didn't want to do. Actually I gave her a choice of two things she didn't want to do. Then I get everyone loaded into Mikey's car because it has air conditioning but then the power steering doesn't always wanna work. That is a fun adventure all by itself. Off to Aunt Deannes to make noodles. I think the final count was thirty five pounds of flour and 10 dozen eggs. I don't want to make noodles for a long time. It was fun, 411 had a blast helping. Megs and Chick were old pros after about 5 minutes. I had a good time with everyone but had to leave to go pick up Bubba as soon as the noodles were done and the flour mess mostly cleaned. Picked up Bubba from his friends mom ( she had taken him to Keg Creek days, a local town's celebration) and he came home with a whole bag of free stuff so of course 411 was totally green that he got something she didn't. Mikey had been calling me all morning taunting me that I was missing out on some good yard sales so when he called me again, I was like, I am on my way so you can stop now. Oh no, he called to tell me that I might wanna pick up a bottle of Lysol with bleach cleaner because our camper fridge quit working. I was pissed because the last time a fridge quit working down at the river, someone had unplugged it, there was fish in the freezer that had started to rot. So I made a trip to the dollar store and got cleaner, paper towels and a tee shirt I didn't care about ( I also had to change out of my flour/water /egg pasty covered shirt). Get down there and Mike starts to mow the jungle that has sprouted around our camper from all the rain we have been getting. I had to make him stop and help me because..... there was rotting fish in this freezer too. and he had left it there. Mike has a notorious weak stomach but I didn't care, he was gonna have to help me. so we got the fish out and properly disposed (back in the river is appropriate I thought) and he goes back to mow and I went to get started on the fridge. Wellll, then I find out the lights aren't working. So back out to ask Mike if there was a fuse blown. I could see the murder in his eyes when I had to stop him this time. After a lot of cursing and poking and investigating, his conclusion is that our converter went out. The good part was the air conditioner and the wall sconce's still worked so I could clean the fridge. Frickin' yah. There was a whole universe of maggots all through where the fish had been down into the fridge. Small ones, tiny ones, dead ones, alive ones, HUGE ones, it was a party. I went through a whole brand new bottle of Lysol with Bleach spray, part of another one, and a whole roll of paper towels. If I never have to do that again, it will be WAYYYY too soon. Bob and Dianne, MacKenna and her friend Hanna came down to have dinner with us and visit, the kids all got along, it was groovy. Mr biffed his eye pretty good, I'll have to get a picture of it, and he wouldn't tell us how he did it. It was a "geek-it". I had to bribe him with a piece of gum to get him to tell me. He was pushing a car around like he does at full speed and it got away from him or he tripped and he face planted on it. I think he was embarrassed. Of course, we all assumed he had done something naughty. He is such a little man.

TGIF

It's Friday Friday Friiiiddddaaayyyyy! I don't know why I am excited, maybe because I will have 2 days of being able to send Mr to see his dad. It is always nice to be able to say, go see your father :)

On a more serious note, my niece Stacy just found out some disturbing news about her second babies development. They went to an ultrasound specialist yesterday after the regular ultrasound doctor didn't like what he saw. It turns out the babies left side of her heart isn't developing the way it should and because of this, she will have to have surgery as soon as she is born. She isn't due till November 8th so there is a long time for Stac to stress and worry. I am planning a shower for her but that has been put on hold till we see what happens.

I always took for granted that I would have healthy, physically perfect babies. Whether that was arrogance or ignorance, who knows. I do know that I feel for Stacy and Curtis and really hope that everyone who is reading this keeps warm thoughts and prayers for them.

The wet spot feels good

Just goes to show you the difference between a four year olds mind and a thirty three year old mind. Mr and I were out on the porch this morning after the rain and he was walking on the wet deck when this little jewel escaped his mouth. Immediately I was thinking 'oh yeah? I really don't like the wet spot myself' I am such a pervert.
I have had my first experience with Blondie's O.D.D., and I feel like a loser. I am really thankful she is at school so I have time to think about it and be calm when she gets home. Ok so here is what happened: Last night I made her do her homework. Cuz I am a bitch like that. That made her mad so she just ignored her chore. Ok, fine, it will be waiting for her when she gets home. This morning she wore a top that I didn't feel was appropriate for school and I suggested she change it. She ignored me. I explained there was more showing then there should be and she really needed to change it. She ignored me and wore it anyway. So here comes the dilemma, what discipline I would use for my children will not work on her. Frankly, I don't know what would work. I called her home worker and she suggested setting her down and telling her she had to follow the rules or find a new place to live. That seems kinda harsh for a little thing but the point is I don't want it to become a big thing. She already feels rejected and unwanted, I DO NOT want to add to that whole mindset BUT I do want her to understand that she does have to follow the rules.
I have some good news to share, Bubba brought home a note asking if he could be tested to be part of the Excel program. I think that is awesome! Even if he doesn't "get accepted" I still like that they think he is smart enough for it.
I had Miss Riles and baby Miley here yesterday. Mr was so happy, the were soooo full of energy. I was relieved that Miley slept for 7 of the 10 hours she was here. Today Mr is asking if we can go pick up Riles so he has someone to play with. Nope, I am enjoying the relative peace. Sue me!

YIPEE!!

I got the latest paperback from Suzanne Brockmann! It is Into the Night (I was wrong Whimp), I am soooo excited to get started on it. Thank you to all who gifted me birthday money, I got to buy something for me. Can you see me doing the dance?
We settled the teen drama with the solution that Chick would wear her headphones to her MP3 player. Because, as we found out in our meeting, it isn't necessarily that the radio is on, it is Blondie's choice of music. We'll have to see how this goes...
Mr got a nap today so I imagine I will be up for at least a couple more hours. Tomorrow his teacher is coming to do an in home visit to get to know him a little more. I think it is a fabu idea. Especially with Mr. because he doesn't do well with people he doesn't know. He is really funny sometimes, he loves,no LOVES dudette, but for a week, he wouldn't have anything to do with her. And every time he saw Aunt Wendy when she was subbing at school, he would bury his head and not have anything to do with her. He will run up and give Dianne the biggest hug and then not say another word to her. It kills me.
I have found a new show I just love, Army Wives. It is really neat to see it from that side, even Mikey watches it with me. He is actually the one who got me hooked. It might create a problem when Extreme Home Makeover and Desperate Housewives come back to new shows though. I saw a teaser for Bones to start it's new season, then there is Grey's Anatomy and it's spin off, Private Practice. I will watch it just to see what it is like. And, I got hooked on Real World, that is like meth, totally toxic and very addictive. This whole paragraph just shows how much I need a life. SSIIIIIGGGHHHHHHH

Yesterday....

Yesterday was my birthday breakfast. I had a good time, I got a couple of good movies, some decorations for my dining room, some pans and a bra purse with cash in it. I will have to take a picture of it so ya'll can fully appreciate it. We went to eat at the casino buffet, Dianne and I hit a couple of yard sales and we went to see STARDUST. It was kinda slow till Robert Deniro hit the screen. That was cute. I even got to go to Bath and Body works, one of my favorite stores, and got some stink pretties. A fun time for me!!
There was a little drama this morning. Blondie likes the radio on at night and Chick doesn't. They apparently have been having a battle of the wills for awhile now. Neither of them wants to compromise. I thought Mike and I handled it rather well, coming up with a solution that neither of them got their own way but they could live with. We'll see how long it works.
The boys are cleaning their room. Again. Not that it will get anywhere. Argh

UPDATE

Mr and 411 on the first morning.











Bubba dressed himself for the first morning of school. I sense a need for a lot more camo clothing that isn't faded into almost white.







Chick is starting to get the whole fashion beast.









My attempt at a race car cake for Mr.'s party. Looking at it now, it wasn't as bad as I thought.


Mr....... after the party.









Everyone came home the first day of school and really liked it. WHEW!!

I took the 3 girls shoe shopping yesterday and found Mr a pair of Shrek Crocs like Riles has, Brandon a pair of tennis shoes and a pair of camo sandals ($2.50!!!!!!) that are Velcro so they will stay put. Now if he can just keep from losing them... Chick found a pair of , I don't even know what to call them. Skater shoes I guess. They make her happy and that is all I care about. 411 found 'Troy Bolten' tennis shoes. She is sooo proud. Blondie found a good pair of tennis shoes that she liked, fit and were on sale within 10 minutes of being in the store. I love the way she shops! Next shoe trip Chick and Mr get a pair of good tennis shoes. I couldn't do it all at once, there isn't enough Prozac in the northern hemisphere.

Mikey is working hard at the new shop trying to get it ready to go to start working on trucks on Monday. Not only does he have about 11 days to service 11 trucks, he is still putting parts away and trying to get the shop organized. I am crossing body parts that this works out the way he wants it to. He certainly loves it taking 15 minutes to get to work.

Can you hear that?

School has officially begun! YAHOO!! I am loving the quiet, non arguing that is happening right now. The kids were excited this morning except Bubba, he really wanted to go back to sleep. I bet that he goes to sleep before midnight tonight. I couldn't get him and 411 settled down last night for all the tea in China.
Blondie went to bed early (thanks for the meds man!) and was up at 5 am to start her new school. I am really hoping that this new start will be a great thing for her. In her old school, she had that whole your family is ---? You must be trash... Ya'll know how that works. I am ever the optimist that since no one knows her they will judge her for herself. It is a rare thing to happen in school so I have my fingers crossed. And I am also hoping that she will get the academic help she needs and not just pushed through for the no-child-left-behind sake.
I am also wishfully thinking that Chick will have an easier time this year. I think she has grown up a little this summer, although you sure couldn't tell from her belligerent attitude the other night.
411 is the one child that I have no social concerns about. She is just like her dad and Aunt Chelle, they can talk to anyone. It is a trait that I sometimes envy since making small talk is like brain surgery for me.
Bubba has his niche with all the boys. Girls are gross. I like that. I am not looking forward to the calls. You know the ones.... ring ring, 'Hello?' (giggle giggle) 'Is (giggle)Brandon there(giggle giggle giggle)?'
Mr doesn't start till the 4th so he has a little more mom time. It is kinda nice just him and me again. I will update later and let every one know how the day went for all.

so...

Mikey called his direct boss (chris) Monday as soon as he knew that he was hired to put in his 2 weeks notice. With what personal time they thought he had, his last day was supposed to be the 24th. Chris called up to the main office today to make sure that they have all the t's and i's taken care of as far as time Mikey has left. Within 10 minutes or so Chris' boss called him and told him that today would be Mike's last day since he put in his 2 weeks notice, they can't take the chance of a workman's comp claim being made in his time he has left. To me, that is totally insulting. I think it bothered Mike that the thought would cross anyone's mind that Mike would do something like that. Besides, they haven't done that to anyone else that quit in the entire time Mikey has worked there. It works out ok though because the new shop tools are being delivered to his new job and Mike can be there to set it up the way he wants. And he can straighten up his office. That is right, Mikey has an OFFICE. He got a chuckle out of having one. The new company really needs him to get started on the trucks so it is a good thing he will be available even sooner. However, it was kinda shady the way he was treated today. It is going to be weird going to getting paid every other week when it has been every week for so long. I am thinking that he will be much happier because he will get to basically be his own boss and work without all the stupid interruptions. The downside I see is having to buy even more tools. Oh god, the tools!! I firmly believe there is a conspiracy to make it impossible to have all the tools you need.

School starts tomorrow and I am sooo excited. Even more so when Mr gets to start.

Mikey's got a new job!

Mike went for an interview this morning at Lone Mountain Trucking and this afternoon they offered him a job. A raise, only 15 miles away, no Nebraska taxes, almost the same benefits..... it is a good thing all the way around. He is like a kid at Christmas, he is so happy. One of the nice things is that when the company expands (hires more mechanics) he will be moved up to supervisor.

www.postsecret.com

I have found this website and it is like crack for me. It is a project started a few years ago by a guy named Frank. People are encouraged to make their own postcards and share their deepest secrets anonymously. He has a few books out that I have on my birthday list. There are also a couple of videos on youtube.com that are really interesting. I found a quote on there, ( I love quotes) that said " Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world." I have to agree with this totally. I need to remember this especially, I am very quick to make snap decisions that I later regret. I try to live a motto of NO REGRETS but you know, sometimes the buggers sneak up on you. One of the major things I am trying to get across to my children to help them in their lives is tolerance. I am doing a not so admirable job with Chick, I think I phrased it, "you are not a damn princess here to order us peasants around so get off the damn high horse" . Ok, not one of my better moments. I know what I was thinking and it just came out all cussy. Today was not a great day nerve wise. I seriously wanted to call the doctor and tell her to give me some happy pills. I was so stressed. I keep telling myself it is all financial and that as soon as such and such happens, it will all be good. Then something so random will set me on the edge of tears and I can't explain it. I wish I could just chalk it up to PMS, at least that is a reason. It isn't all the time, most of the time I am pretty laid back I think. It is probably just that the kids need to start school. Yeah that is it, 4 more days of summer vacation. And I have my sister breakfast next weekend, that will be a good thing. The ladies and I were talking about going to a movie after we eat, I am almost dancing at the thought. A real honest to god grown up movie with no animation, no potty breaks, no sticky hands.... giggle giggle I need to get out more.

Poems

My friend Cathleen sent these to me, I laughed out loud.


WOMAN'S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man, who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit

I am 32

Soon to be 33 in a couple of days. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent, kind, loving person. I am A-Freaking-mazed at how stupid my children think I am. And how often they just ignore what I have to say. Get ready for bed? Whatever, she isn't going to turn 13 shades of red for another 30-40 minutes, we got plenty of time. And before anyone leaves any comments, I know I am inconsistant and that is why they walk all over me. I know this. It doesn't piss me off any less though. Bubba is losing all of his toys. Again. For the third time. This time they are going to the storage unit. And then there is the dryer. I am starting to think there is a washer/dryer fairy somewhere that I made really really angry. This dryer takes the burn the hell out of things approach to drying. Do not get me started on the van. Enough said about that. Chick is freaking out over a stuffed leopard that I moved when I cleaned her room while she was gone. It took her 6 weeks to notice that it was gone. I am thinking that she needs to get a hobbie that uses more of her brain cells so she doesn't have time to dwell on stuff like that. 411 is doing to needy thing to the extreme, the more attention devote to her, the more she wants. Mr is in his own world where, apparently, there are no rules and he can do whatever he wants with no consequences. Ugg, I am ranting and will probably delete this post tomorrow when I have had a good nights sleep. I don't know, I do know that I am frustrated with my children, life and finances.

bikini bed

Mr is expanding his vocabulary daily and it sometimes a challenge to understand it all. His new favorite food is bikini bed (otherwise known as zucchini bread). He is really looking forward to school starting, although he will be bummed when he realizes that he can't ride the big yellow bus like the big kids.
Not really a lot exciting happening around here. I spent all day on the phone trying to get everyone one from doctors to dhs on the same page with our latest addition. It is amazing to me how often the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing.
You wanna hear something funny? Mikey called our insurance lady (Lana, she rocks) and SHE told him he needed to get rid of a couple vehicles and get me a new one. I laughed out loud when she told me that. I have come to the point where I loathe my van but my dear hubby has promised to try to fix it enough to last one more year so we can get out of under the bank loan. That would be nice. I was messing around with a mortgage calculator online for giggles. I put in all our income and debts now and we can "afford" about $136,000 according to the numbers I put in. If we get rid of the bank loan, it jumps to $207,000. That is freaking amazing to me. I know that it isn't anything to base anything off of, I just thought it was interesting. The sad thing is, it is going to be hard to find a house that works for us as well as this apartment. I told someone the other day, if it was a house, I doubt I would ever move. Well, owning a home would be less of a priority at least.

Busy Busy Busy

Talk about a hectic 24 hours. After a midnight trip to the ER ( Mikey thought he was having chest pain but it was just his bursitis (sp?) acting up, whew) and getting to bed at 3AM I got up at 7 this morning to take our latest addition to an appointment. After that we stopped by to get some of her things and then went to walmart. As we are finishing up there, I got a call that our visitor will be staying. SO back to the school supply aisle we go. I missed taking her to the school to get her enrolled today, so I will have to take her out there tomorrow to meet the principal and get a schedule, etc. That is after I take Bubba and 411 to get fillings in the AM. Anyway, after we got home, I got the brilliant idea to rearrange Chicks room to make it roomier for two teens. After much debate, we took out both beds, took Kate's bunkbeds into their room and then drug the daybed outta my closet (THANK YOU AUNT DEANNE!!). Then after we got all that done, the beds made and the trundle put away, we had to take the full bed and some other stuff to the storage unit. All this is done while I am making beef and noodles. Yep busy day.

more to the story..

Ok, so they finally published an obituary. Not only is it ridiculously after the fact, they spelled his name wrong, gave an incorrect age and didn't list any family connections. I told my mom, if this was somebody I was attached to I would be raising cain. Since it is not, I don't care. Another strike on my kharma I am sure but oop-say-O!
We have a new friend staying with us, Chick is excited to have someone her age here.
I am looking for new recipes to take to Kathy's party tomorrow and nothing is sounding good. I would like to find a cool dessert, try something new. It must just be a bad time because even chocolate doesn't sound good. And we all know that chocolate is a gift from GOD directly :)
Got the kids all registered for school. YEE HAW!! Then it hits me, the week after next, they start back to school. Damn, I had it in my head I had plenty of time. Luckily, I started early gathering supplies so all I really have left is 2 backpacks and 4 pairs of tennis shoes. That is going to hurt my pee pee as Chelle says. It could be worse, it could be like it usually is and I have one week to get it ALL done. The girls all want these really dorky skater shoes because Jr has a pair. Whatever, I am old I guess.

It is a great day to be alive

As opposed to the alternative, everyday is a great day, huh? As almost all of you know, I had to postpone my birthday breakfast ( I really didn't want to) because my mom requested my presence at Vernes funeral. I really don't know what I think of the whole thing. TO give ya'll a synopsis, when my mom got together with him in July of 1988, he was a very proud lil man (he was only like 5'5" or something like that). He always had the pressed jeans, pearl button cowboy shirts, highly shined boots, neatly shaved and hair slicked back in that old man styling fashion. He moved to Colorado with us and turned out to be a crazy, violent alcoholic. He accused me of sleeping around when I was Chick's age, physically threw my mother across the room, tried to stab me once, covered her in lighter fluid and chased her around the house with a lighter, tried to punch me in the face for having the audacity to have a black friend just to name a few high(low?)lights. So it is with little wonder that when I graduated in '92, I moved out the day after graduation. He and my mom moved back to Mo.Valley when my grandpa passed away to look after my grandma. She will refuse to talk about it but I have my theories about violent men not just suddenly losing their tendencies. Sometime in the late 90's ( I was in Germany by then) mom had told him it was over and he tried unsuccessfully to commit suicide. He later told Mike that he was looking for my mother and couldn't find her so he decided to shoot himself. When Mike and I saw him after we came back from Germany, he was wearing dirty old sneakers, untied, no socks, sweat pants, a dirty white tee and his hair was too long and all over the place. By then he was living to drink and drinking to live. The deterioration was just horrible. He basically had no pride left. Mom got him moved into a retirement place up in Mo.Valley and he lived there till he died. While he was there, he told everyone who would listen that my mom was his ex wife and he still loved her deeply. Which was a little confusing for some people since when Art died, she was listed as his wife of 26 years. Anyway, the funeral home called her and she had to see who she had in her phone book from 10 years ago when he was a part of her life. She finally managed to track down a sister. Turns out he has 3 sisters, 5 children and an ex wife from 35 years ago. Who knew?
SO the only reason I am postponing my birthday breakfast is because my mother says she needs me, not because I have any affection for this man. I am having an internal argument. 'you should feel something like bad because a person died' vs. 'he was an asshole that doesn't deserved to be mourned, that is for his children, you know the ones he abandoned 35 years ago, to do'
Yeah, a therapist would make a small mint off me.